Eaton Rapids at Portland – – Girls Basketball – – The Bleacher Denizen – – December 9, 2022 – – by Chuck Krafft
Bleacher Denizen is in Portland tonight where the Raiders are hosting the Eaton Rapids Greyhounds in Girls Basketball. I have already seen the boys game; here is the link for those of you who are interested.
While the teams warm up, why don’t we enjoy this original cynical Christmas Parody of a cynical Christmas Parody from my You Tube Channel!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp3FW5dhL3E
For Portland, Coach Jason Haid provided me with this information last week!
Malia Thelen is a top quality point guard who is strong at everything you need from that position. She defends aggressively. She passes well and handles the ball well. She is a scoring threat either driving to the basket or sniping away from the three point line.
Alexa Weber is the only other player who logged significant time for last year’s Regional Champions. She is a tough inside player who defends the lane well and is a good rebounder. She is an excellent finisher near the basket. Paige Spedoske shoots well and uses her strength to be a good finisher near the basket.
Lilly Thelen is a fine ball handler and slashes well to the basket. Summer Stopcynski is able to play either the point guard or shooting guard position. She is a fine defensive player. Ella Gruber is a great defender who can hit from the three point line or slash to the basket. Bella Spitzley is an active on ball defender who can shoot from the outside or attack the basket.
Jayden Townsend is a quick guard who makes a lot of hustle plays. Erica Russman is a fine rebounder who runs the floor well and defends aggressively. McKenna Boykin is a forward who is long, athletic and rebounds well. Ally Logel is currently injured, but she shoots and defends well.
Eaton Rapids Coach Dan Langeland helped me with this information about his Greyhound players. Sofia Kingsley is a fine guard who can slash to the basket well and shoot from the three point line. Kylie Alvarez is a freshman point guard who handles the ball well. On defense she is a perpetual motion machine who can shut other teams’ guards down. Ashley Brown is a fine defender and rebounder in the post. She is an excellent passer and much of the offense is designed to run through her.
The Portland Middle School Choir leads the crowd in singing the National Anthem and does a fine job.
It is now time to review the events of this game through the occasionally open eyes of an Aging Bleacher Denizen who was never able to escape church league when he attempted to play basketball in the days of yore. His coach claimed that he did not communicate well, but in my defense I will point out that it was really difficult to understand basketball instructions in the Shakespearean English we spoke back in the day. It could be difficult to know exactly where the coach wanted me to be when he shouted, “Get thee hither!!”
Eaton Rapids wins the opening tap, but Malia Thelen quickly steals the ball for Portland. The Raiders miss a driving layup. Ashley Brown passes to Kylie Alvarez, who hits a layup to give Eaton Rapids the first two points of the game. Portland misses a driving layup. Malia Thelen steals the ball and hits a layup for Portland to tie the game at 2-2.
Eaton Rapids misses a driving layup. Lilly Thelen reacts quickly to prevent an errant Raider pass from going out of bounds. Portland misses a fifteen footer from the side. Eaton Rapids misses a three pointer near the top of the key. Ayla Worden gets the offensive rebound for the Greyhounds. Eaton Rapids misses a jump shot. Portland misfires on a triple try from the corner.
Eaton Rapids throws a pass out of bounds. Kylie Alvarez knocks the ball away from a Portland dribbler and out of bounds. Portland briefly retains possession, but Zoe Newberry steals the ball for Eaton Rapids. Sofia Kingsley hits a layup for the Greyhounds. She is fouled on the play, but misses her free throw. With 5:11 to play in the first quarter, Eaton Rapids has a 4-2 lead.
Ashley Brown gets her hand on a Raider pass and the ball goes out; Portland retains possession. Summer Stopcynski is fouled on a driving layup and hits two free throws to tie the game at 4-4 with 4:58 remaining in the first quarter.
Ella Gruber knocks the ball out of bounds; the Greyhounds retain possession. Malia Thelen knocks the ball out of bounds; the Greyhounds again retain possession. Malia Thelen steals the Greyhound inbound pass; she drives and hits a layup to give the Raiders the lead. Eaton Rapids misses a fifteen foot shot from the side. Zoe Newberry knocks a Raider pass out of bounds; Portland retains possession. Kylie Alvarez knocks a Raider pass out of bounds; Portland again retains possession. Malia Thelen hits a ten foot jumper off the dribble from the baseline to propel her Raiders to an 8-4 lead.
Eaton Rapids misses a three point shot from the wing. The rebound goes out of bounds and Portland takes possession. Sofia Kingsley knocks the ball away from Portland; the Raiders recover but miss a layup. Eaton Rapids is whistled for a traveling violation. Malia Thelen inbounds the ball to Alexa Weber, who hits a layup to give Portland a 10-4 lead.
Eaton Rapids misses a driving layup. Portland turns the ball over. Lilly Thelen knocks the ball away from the Greyhounds and Bella Spitzley picks it up for the Raiders. Lori Sy nearly steals the ball for the Greyhounds, but the Raiders are able to recover. Portland is fouled on a driving layup, but misses two free throws. With 1:21 to go in the first quarter, the Raider lead remains at 10-4.
Summer Stopcynski knocks the ball away from a Greyhound dribbler and out of bounds. Eaton Rapids retains possession. Eaton Rapids misses a driving layup. Kylie Alvarez steals the ball for the Greyhounds and passes to Sofia Kingsley, who hits a fast break layup to trim the Raider lead to 10-6.
Portland throws a pass out of bounds. Summer Stopcynski blocks a Greyhound layup; the ball goes out of bounds and Eaton Rapids gets another opportunity. Malia Thelen knocks the ball away from Eaton Rapids and Summer Stopcynski grabs it for Portland. The Raiders miss a layup. Malia Thelen pulls down the offensive rebound. The Raiders miss a layup. Alexa Weber rebounds the ball and is fouled on a putback. She hits one of her two free throws with just 3.9 seconds to play in the quarter. Eaton Rapids misses a rushed twenty-five footer from the wing at the buzzer.
After one quarter, Portland has an 11-6 lead.
Eaton Rapids inbounds the ball and the second quarter has begun. Alexa Weber steals the ball for Portland. Sofia Kingsley knocks a Portland pass out of bounds; Portland gets the ball back. Malia Thelen steals the ball for Portland. Malia Thelen throws in a threeball from the corner for the Raiders. Lilly Thelen steals the ball and hits a layup to give Portland a 16-6 lead.
Eaton Rapids misses a shot; they get the offensive rebound. Flora Steien hits a layup for the Greyhounds. Kylie Alvarez purloins the ball for the Greyhounds. Lilly Thelen blocks a Greyhound fast break layup; the ball goes out of bounds and back to Eaton Rapids. The ball goes loose and is tied up. The Possession Arrow consults its Council of People Who Don’t Understand Sports and awards the ball to Portland. Flora Steien steals the ball for the Greyhounds. Sofia Kingsley drives and hits a layup for Eaton Rapids to shave the Portland lead to 16-10.
Flora Steien steals the ball for the Greyhounds. They miss a fast break layup and foul on the rebound. Portland is whistled for a traveling violation. Paige Spedoske knocks the Greyhound inbound pass out of bounds; Eaton Rapids retains possession. Summer Stopcynski steals the Greyhound inbound pass. The Raiders misfire on a threeball from the side. Eaton Rapids misses a jumper off the dribble from the free throw elbow. The rebound goes out of bounds and Eaton Rapids gets the ball back.
The Greyhounds are whistled for an offensive foul. Portland misses a seventeen foot shot from the side and fouls on the rebound. Summer Stopcynski steals the ball for the Raiders. Portland misses a fast break layup; the rebound goes out of bounds and Eaton Rapids takes possession. The Greyhounds throw a pass too high and out of bounds. Portland misses a three pointer from the corner.
Alexa Weber knocks the ball away from the Greyhounds and Jayden Townsend picks it up for the Raiders. Portland throws a pass out of bounds. Eaton Rapids misses a ten foot banked shot from the side. Portland misses a three point shot from the corner. Sofia Kingsley hits an eight foot hook shot for Eaton Rapids. She is fouled on the play and makes her free throw. Malia Thelen is fouled and hits one of her two free throws in a one and one opportunity. With 2:57 to play in the second quarter, Portland has a 17-13 lead.
Ella Gruber knocks a Greyhound pass out of bounds; Eaton Rapids retains possession. Malia Thelen steals a Greyhound pass. Sofia Kingsley steals a pass to break up a Raider fast break. Eaton Rapids misses a threeball from the wing. Ayla Worden snares the long offensive rebound for the Greyhounds. Eaton Rapids misses a three point shot from the side. Malia Thelen tosses the ball to Ella Gruber, who hits a three pointer from the corner to boost Portland to a 20-13 lead.
Eaton Rapids loses the ball out of bounds. Portland misses a driving layup. Flora Steien steals the ball and is fouled on a fast break layup. Flora Steien hits one of her two free throws to shrink the Portland lead to 20-14 with 38.4 seconds remaining in the half.
Portland misses a twelve foot shot from the side. McKenna Boykin steals the ball for the Raiders. Portland misses a jumper from the free throw line. Malia Thelen steals the ball for Portland as the halftime buzzer sounds.
At halftime, Portland has a 20-14 lead.
Sofia Kingsley has 9 points to lead the Eaton Rapids scoring.
Malia Thelen has 10 points for Portland.
There is no halftime program today, so why don’t we listen to my rendition of “Little Drummer Boy” from my You Tube Channel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWFryViWd20
Portland inbounds the ball to open the third quarter. The Raiders miss a jumper from the free throw elbow. Eaton Rapids misses a twelve footer from the side. The rebound goes out of bounds and Portland takes possession. Portland throws a pass out of bounds. Malia Thelen steals a Greyhound pass. Ayla Worden stops a Portland layup; the ball goes out of bounds and Portland gets it back.
Portland misses a three point shot from the top of the key. Malia Thelen steals the ball for the Raiders. Portland commits an offensive foul. Eaton Rapids misses a layup. Portland misses a three point shot from the side. Eaton Rapids misses a fast break layup. Portland misfires on a triple try from the corner. Malia Thelen misses a threeball from the corner. The Bleacher Denizen misses seeing the ball go into the basket.
Malia Thelen steals a Greyhound pass. Portland misses a three point shot from the wing; the rebound goes out and Portland gets another opportunity. Zoe Newberry steals the Raider inbound pass. Bella Spitzley dives and knocks the ball out of bounds; Eaton Rapids retains possession. Eaton Rapids misses a ten footer from the side of the lane. Portland turns the ball over. Eaton Rapids loses its inbound pass out of bounds. Malia Thelen drives and dishes the ball to Jayden Townsend, who hits a three point shot from the corner to push Portland to a 23-14 lead.
Eaton Rapids misses a six footer from the baseline. Portland misses a three point shot from the wing. Malia Thelen pulls down the offensive rebound, makes a short drive and hits a layup for Portland. She is fouled on the play and hits her free throw to extend the Portland lead to 26-14 with 4:09 to play in the third quarter.
Jayden Townsend knocks a Greyhound pass out of bounds; Eaton Rapids gets the ball back. The Greyhounds miss a layup, but Zoe Newberry gets the offensive rebound. Eaton Rapids misses a three point shot from the wing. Malia Thelen basses to Bella Spitzley, who banks in a threeball from the side for the Raiders. Eaton Rapids turns the ball over. Bella Spitzley drives across the lane and is fouled on a six foot hook shot. She hits one of her two free throws to give Portland a 30-14 lead with 3:18 to go in the quarter.
Eaton Rapids misfires on a triple try from the corner. Flora Steien steals the ball for Eaton Rapids. The Greyhounds miss a sixteen foot shot from the baseline. Flora Steien gets the offensive rebound for the Greyhounds. Eaton Rapids misses a three pointer from the wing. Your aging Bleacher Denizen gets a tad confused when some hectic play happens around the basket. I’m not sure if Flora Steien got the offensive rebound or if she stole the ball from a Portland rebounder. In any event, Eaton Rapids has the ball.
The Greyhounds miss a reverse layup. Portland misses a three point attempt from the corner. McKenna Boykin ties up an Eaton Rapids dribbler. The Possession Arrow and its Christmas Decoration Committee meet and award the ball to Portland. The Raiders miss a driving layup. Alexa Weber grabs the offensive rebound for Portland. The Raiders miss a layup. Lori Sy hits a fast break layup for Eaton Rapids to shave the Raider lead to 30-16.
Kylie Alvarez gets another steal for Eaton Rapids. The Greyhounds turn the ball over. Flora Steien passes to Lori Sy, who hits a three point shot from the wing for Eaton Rapids. Portland misses a threeeball from the corner. Eaton Rapids misses a fast break layup. The rebound goes out of bounds, but there are only .4 seconds left. Portland inbounds the ball and the third quarter comes to its conclusion.
After three quarters, Portland leads 30-19.
Eaton Rapids inbounds the ball to start the fourth quarter. Summer Stopcynski steals the ball for the Raiders. Portland misses a driving layup. The rebound goes out of bounds and Portland gets the ball back. The Raiders miss a threeball from the corner. Lilly Thelen gets the offensive rebound for the Raiders. Portland misses a three point shot from the wing. Summer Stopcynski gets the offensive rebound for the Raiders.
Flora Steien stands tall in the lane and forces Portland to travel while driving for a layup. Summer Stopcynski steals the ball and hits a fast break layup for Portland to give the Raiders a 32-19 lead.
Bella Spitzley knocks a pass away to break up an Eaton Rapids fast break and stop a probable layup. Eaton Rapids gets the ball back, but the Greyhounds miss a six foot shot from the side. Zoe Newberry gets the offensive rebound for the Greyhounds. Eaton Rapids is whistled for a traveling violation. Portland misses a three point shot from the corner. Alexa Weber steals the ball for Portland.
Kylie Alverez swipes a Portland pass. Eaton Rapids bounces a pass out of bounds. Ayla Worden steals a Portland pass. Eaton Rapids misses a twelve foot shot from the side. Malia Thelen is fouled on a fast break layup and hits one of her two free throws to give her Raiders a 33-19 lead with 5:13 left on the clock.
Eaton Rapids misses a layup. Ashley Brown hits a putback for the Greyhounds. Portland turns the ball over. Eaton Rapids misfires on a threeball from the side. The rebound goes out of bounds and the Greyhounds get another opportunity. Eaton Rapids misses a layup. Portland travels with the ball. (Basketball cliches can be interesting; in most cases, traveling WITHOUT the ball is hardly newsworthy.) Eaton Rapids misses a three pointer from the top of the key.
Portland misses a three point shot from the corner. The rebound goes out of bounds and the Raiders get another chance. Portland misses a three pointer from the top of the key. Malia Thelen steals the ball for the Raiders. Portland loses a pass out of bounds. Eaton Rapids misses a fast break layup. Portland misses a driving layup. Eaton Rapids misses a generic layup. The Greyhounds get the offensive rebound, but miss a jump shot.
Portland misses a layup. Eaton Rapids misses a three point launch from the side. Zoe Newberry gets the offensive rebound for the Greyhounds. Eaton Rapids misses a fifteen foot shot from the side. Malia Thelen drives and hits a layup for Eaton Rapids. Sofia Kingsley is fouled on a ten footer from the side and hits one of her two free throws for the final scoring of the game. With 1:32 to play, Portland has a 35-22 lead.
The rebound from the missed free throw goes out of bounds and Eaton Rapids gets hte ball back. Eaton Rapids misses a layup. Portland misses a driving layup. Eaton Rapids misfires on a three pointer from the side. Portland dribbles out the last thirty or so seconds of the game.
Portland wins 35-22.
Sofia Kingsley led the Greyhound scoring with 10 points. Lori Sy added 5 points. Flora Steien contributed 3 points. Kylie Alvarez and Ashley Brown each added 2 points.
Malia Thelen led the Portland scoring with 16 points. Bella Spitzley and Summer Stopcynski each scored 4 points. Ella Gruber, Jayden Townsend and Alexa Weber each added 3 points. Lilly Thelen had 2 points.